Hi, I’m Thirteen 👋. Yes, my name is legally Thirteen Orion Nebula. I was labeled *gifted* as a kid, but that label never fit. I didn’t feel gifted, but I definitely felt *different*. I felt alien. Like I had landed on the wrong planet with no manual, trying to decode a world that made no sense. I could memorize things instantly, and solve problems and puzzles faster than others. Still, I couldn’t understand how to be “normal,” how to make friends, or why everything felt so loud, bright, and wrong. The bullying never stopped so I became excellent at masking, hiding, shape-shifting, surviving.

I grew up in a "traditional" household throughout the 80's and 90's. My dad served in the Gulf War, my mom was a homemaker who later worked for the local school system. We moved from the outerbanks in North Carolina, to busy Southern California. Not long after the war ended, my father retired and we moved again to the quieter mountains of Asheville, North Carolina... and something clicked. I found peace in solitude. The woods became my sanctuary. I could breathe again, imagine freely, and be myself without explanation when I was alone out there.

Life wasn’t easy. The summer before high school, I was in a devastating rollover accident. My spine was crushed when the truck I was in slammed against a tree, and I suffered serious spinal trauma. School became impossible so I dropped out, not because I wasn’t smart, but because I was exhausted. I earned my GED immediately. Started a family young and tried to follow the rules. Tried to be who I thought I was supposed to be. I worked dozens of jobs... Landscaper, fast food cook, photographer, paramedic, warehouse laborer. I even sold weed when I had to. Not just to survive, but because I always knew it regulated something inside me that no doctor would have ever understood. It still does.

After my divorce in my mid-20's, I dove into another relationship and lost everything I had when she stole it all one day and just took off. With nothing, and nowhere to go, I moved to Orlando, Florida. That’s where everything got louder... the traffic, the pressure, the failures. One day, while working as a photographer at Discovery Cove, I was literally struck by lightning. And something in my body suddenly and slowly changed less than a year after. After so much stress, anxiety, financial failure, and unknowingly masking autism, adhd, and Tourette's, my body finally said enough is enough and shutdown. I went into full burnout. I started having very outward tic's more and more often and had this uncontrolable shaking that took several years to get under control.

After that, I realized I was done pretending I could live a “normal” life. I changed my diet and lifestyle. I also changed my expectations on life. I watched vanlife videos and minimalism content. I ended my lease I had on my apartment, and I moved into a minivan... It broke like 6mo. later. So, I stayed with a friend. I took a risk and invested in bitcoin; and it paid off. I 6×’d my money, paid off some debt, rented a car through Lyft (which I would sleep in), and started driving again. Eventually, I got my own, practically new, car... a 2017 Chevy Malibu. It looked like a fresh start, but within the first year, a broken plastic sensor piece would get sucked into my intake, wreak havoc, cost me over $3500, and destroyed my engine the day before my first real vacation. The struggle never stopped, but neither did I.

Eventually, I found myself camping again in the easy access areas of Ocala National Forest. I started reconnecting with the parts of myself I had buried. I missed space. I missed stillness... and I needed to go deeper into the forests. So I bought Horizon; my black 2004 Suburban Z71. Sure, it's rough around the edges, but it runs strong and takes me anywhere I've wanted to goI outfitted it first with Mickey Thompson Baja Boss tires, added storage under my bed, shelving for my things, and slowly built everything I’d need to live, roam, and survive. And then one day, I quit my job and hit the road.

I dumped everything that was in my storage locker that I couldn't sell immediately or give away. I passed through Asheville, revisiting the Pisgah and Nantahala National Forests, then made my way up to the Black Hills of South Dakota. It was incredible. I thought I’d found my place, until then I headed southwest and discovered Colorado.

Driving across the northern border and down the western slope changed everything. The mountains, the colors, the trees and rocks, the silence. There's just not words powerful enough to describe the emotions and feelings being here. I camped for two weeks in the San Juan Mountains, completely off-grid and away from people. When I headed south and reached Durango, I just knew... this was home. This is where I felt seen by the land, if not by people. Where I could finally stop running and start rebuilding. So I stayed there and attempted to get my life together.

Now I’m found roaming here and there around the area, finally rebuilding a life (and home) out of broken pieces, and using everything I’ve learned to make something better. I create more things now, things I used to and some that are new. Websites. Music. Digital art and content. But now also tools, content, and products for other neurodivergent weirdos like me. I collect memories, projects, special interests, and plushies. I help people when and where I can. I speak honestly, from the raw places most people hide. And for the first time in a long time… I feel more and more at peace; the only thing I'm truly trying to attain in life anymore.

If you’ve read this far (first of all, you're an amazing human!) and any of it sounds like you, then maybe you belong here too. Follow my social media (below) to keep up with current events!